'Good night,' I said.
'Good night,' she replied. 'Have a good evening.'
An order.
And it struck me how imperative it was that I did have a good evening, for in the morning, she would be there with a new question:'did you have a nice evening?' and I would need a reply. For the sake of decorum. For the sake of bonhomie. For the sake of good health. The whole exchange was a demonstration of good health. I am well. You are well. Thank goodness.
I was looking forward to sloping off and sinking into my own selfish inertia. To turn my face steadfastly towards books and screens in order to relieve the nervous exhaustion of sharing spatial and facial interactions with the humans. The journey home normally wizzed by as i giggled to myself, got a semi to some semi-pornographic literature, welled up over emotional passages. My own internal business, sordid, unpalatable and mine.
When I awoke in the morning a sudden wave of nerves erupted. I stared at the ceiling. My environment would soon be filled with questioning, smiling faces. How would I answer them? I thought back. Had I had a good evening? It was worried. I was immersed and absent from the crushing realities of the day. Hardly a suitable answer. Indeed, I read, and watched some rather interesting shows about cats. 6 in a row. I was actually dying to talk to someone about it.
I'd tried it a couple of times, but it always went askew leaving their morning grin sagging into a nervous expression, hopeful but uncertain. I'd start to talk about something I was reading. (For God's sake this was a publishing house! Couldn't we talk about these things?) An amazing book about two brothers who are emotionally and sexually stunted. Great stuff. i could have stayed up reading it all night. You know, there were some really interesting bits and it left me wondering about sexism. I mean, I was enjoying them, and I'm a literary erudite person, but they were pornographic. Really made me think etc etc.... OK. Right. No. Just a quiet one thanks. Bit of TV and catching up on some reading. Yourself? Stayed a bit late. Had this launch to prepare for. You know. Excellent. That's plenty. Ah. Cool, crisp exchange. My smile never dropped.
I'm dreading tomorrow, but I'd better get over it. Writing and thinking about it's not going to help now is it? Just going to exacerbate the situ. Too right my man. Just a game. They're just colleagues. Cool, professional, environment. Indeed. I want nothing less. Right. Eradicate the dwelling and the inertia. Best to replace it with positive functionality. Then there'll be no need for this. No need for this.
Why would you rig a poll to name a cat?
